Katya Pavlova biography

The team was formed in Yekaterinburg at the beginning of the zero and since then managed to break up, gather again and almost completely change its composition. Now the group of Tour-January 7 will be a concert in Moscow, and on January 8, “both two” will come to St. Petersburg. We talked with the soloist Katya Pavlova about trying to become more confident in himself, motherhood and life values.

What did you learn about yourself during the existence of the project? What is the case that only I can do - namely to write my songs. Plus, I think that I have some special connection with the public. This is especially felt at concerts or personal meetings after them. I invest in the song, go on stage and see how other people feel music the same way as me. Honestly, it’s still difficult for me to believe it.

I would like to ask: “Seriously? Did you understand and felt the same? How is it possible? I understand that once a musical career can end. We live in such times when I play every concert as the last. At any moment, like other artists, we can be on the list, after which all performances end. But I'm not a loss. I love music, but if suddenly concerts stop feeding my family, I will find something to take myself.

In which case I will not break off and go to work in a cafe, and to the store. And then I will probably come up with some kind of entrepreneurial activity. In the pandemic, when there were no concerts, I mastered SMM. She led three projects-about breastfeeding, about child psychology, about some sofas. I had to eat something, so I found a way out of the situation. I will not suffer silently because I am an artist and everyone should solve my problems around.

However, nothing else as music, I do not burn. To leave music now for me would mean betraying myself. When the song breaks you ribs from the inside, there is no question of what else to do. How do you write your songs? I can write only about my experience and experiences. I know that I do it well. Writing songs is my way to process the experience. I reflect so. It is very difficult to emotionally.

I do not just put the letters into compact even sentences. I am looking for the most accurate words to describe my real feelings. And after writing songs, it becomes easier to live. This can be compared with the fact that you dug on someone's shoulder. In one interview, you said that for a long time I was not confident in myself and could not even call herself a singer. What other difficulties did you experience due to uncertainty?

She interfered terribly and still interferes, just less. I am often embarrassed or ashamed of my actions, I am afraid to show the initiative. Constantly have to force yourself to do something through power. I have a thousand brilliant ideas on how to make a group more popular. But they do not reach implementation, because sometimes I cannot even say something out loud. Who wants to listen to it at all?

What helped you? Firstly, find your self-doubt and recognize it. Secondly, a long time to look at how this affects life. To be upset due to the number of lost years and opportunities. And then fight this with small steps. And you still do not need to underestimate loved ones. My environment constantly supports me. And your listeners do not strengthen your sense of confidence? Of course, they strengthen and make a great contribution to my self -awareness.

Just self -doubt is such a complex thing. Here, at least ten thousand million people will come to you and say that you are cool, and only approval from loved ones will still work. For example, to believe that I wrote a good song, I need the opinion of two or three significant people. The song may sound at least on all radio stations, but it is important for me that a specific person says "it was cool." You said that you went to psychotherapy.

Was it because of self-doubt? At some point, I realized that I was stuck. I could not take a step forward, although I perfectly understood what exactly needed to be done. Sometimes I was looking for approval from people from whom I would never wait for him. It did not develop and did not advance because of its uncertainty. It became easier for you after the sessions?

I have been in therapy for a year and a half, and I think this is not a very long time. While I plunge into myself, all the rowing and rowing layers behind layers. And I don’t know when I would get it to the point, but something is digging. It’s definitely easier to live. It may have become even harder. This is an illusion that you will go to a psychologist and the sun is breaking over your head.

This will not happen. You will just dig up pain points and understand why certain events have occurred with you. Why are you in therapy then if it brings so much pain? My goal is to learn how to distinguish your emotions and start living with them. Do not go into anabiosis every time trouble happens to me, do not pause life. In psychotherapy, they do not give you a magic key.

But I need therapy, because I cannot deal with myself. It’s difficult for me so far, but at the same time very interesting. This work has a prospect on myself, I just didn’t reach it.If you return to the past, where you were more insecure, what would you advise yourself? It seems to me that this story is not about advice. I think it all depends on the environment in which you grow up.

A great example is my daughter. She is now almost four years old, and she already knows that the best. Everything that she says and does is the best. It is clear that she is prankish and capriches, but at the same time she is already excellently aware of this report. She can come up and say: "I will go now and be silent in my room, and then I will ask you for forgiveness." These things are not nurtured by tips.

We need a supportive environment, which I try to create for my daughter. But in general, motherhood has changed you greatly? I would not say that. It seems to me that I myself have not changed as a person, have not changed and priorities in terms of work. Just before, there were two of us in the family, and now there were three. The only thing I can say is that the temptation disappears in crisis situations to slap the door and start all over again.

Because now you think not only about yourself and your wounded soul. There is a responsibility for the life and happiness of one little girl, and only you can and will export it. It is important to think twice before making some global decisions. What values ​​important to you to instill in your daughter? I would like her to understand her value.